Chapter 18

Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world" - Philippians 2:14-15

As a guy you will meet different girls in your lifetime. Some are sweet and some are Lelo's and Matshidiso's of this world. Those who watch Skeem Saam and Muvhango will know what I'm talking about. From distance Ntombi didn't look like someone who was capable of pulling the stunt she had just pulled. She looked naughty but I never thought she had element of witchcraft in her. I mean, spiking people's drinks falls under level 5 in witchcraft fraternity. Worse part was she drugged her mom and expected me to fuck her right in front of them. Such girls are not safe because one day she would drug me and do whatever she wanted with me. I decided to be the bigger man and told her "listen, you are very attractive and to be honest, I have the hots for you. But this is not how we should do things. And, why are you carrying drugs with you? I think it's dodgy". She looked at me and went "look here boy, I know your dick is probably used to chowing old vjayjays, but it's time for change. Even if you #AskMmusi he'll tell you it's time for change. I'm offering you something latest here. The new edition". The more she spoke was the more she sounded like a psycho. We all need a girl who takes the first step but she must not show desperation. Ntombi sounded like a desperate somebody. I left and locked myself in the bathroom.

After what seemed like lifetime I heard voices coming from the sitting room. I flushed my nothing and went back there. Maureen and Eve were complaining about being dizzy and Ntombi was nowhere to be seen. Eve asked where Ntombi was and I told her she went outside. I told them to stop working hard because they fell asleep on the couch. Luckily Ntombi had removed the coffee mugs on the table. She looked like the type that watched Investigation Discovery and Medical Detectives too much. Or maybe she was a medical forensic specialist. I would never date a forensic investigator. The bitch would be able to spot a little piece of hair face and tell me it belongs to a 19 year old girl blah blah blah shit. Within 5 minutes Ntombi appeared from the door. She had a 2L bottle of Lemon Twist in her hand. She was like "hope I didn't take time. I noticed auntie Maureen didn't have Lemon Twist in the fridge and went to buy it at the garage. Hope I didn't take time hle bathong". The 2 women looked confused. They seemed to be thinking very hard as to what happened to them. Ntombi kept talking non-stop to distract their thinking. The more she did that was the more I got afraid of her. Her body was a fine piece of Godly art thou. Her ass was well-built complemented by very attractive curves. She warmed the food and dished up. My eyes were on her like a hawk. I didn't want her to poison my food, especially after I refused to fuck her. She looked like someone who would kill you for saying no with your dick. We sat on the table and attacked Maureen's kitchen labour. I was sitting opposite Eve and she kept greeting me with her foot under the table. On the other hand I was sitting next to Ntombi and she would now and then brush my thigh. Some families need TB Joshua straight.

After eating we watched a lil bit of TV. Eve was acting all 'friendy-friendy' to Maureen. You would swear she never fucked me. Imagine if Maureen found out I did Eve in her house. She would kill both of us on the spot. Maureen complained about a headache and Ntombi advised her to take a Grand-Pa or something. She said she didn't have any in the house and I volunteered to go buy one for her at the garage. Before I could even stand up Ntombi went "ngizohamba nawe buti (I'll go with you brother)". She even called me 'buti' just to show she didn't have any intentions, in front of the drugged gogo's. We used my Merc to drive to the garage. Ntombi couldn't stop complimenting my wheels. You'd swear it was her first time seeing such beast. A cheesegirl like her was probably used to seeing gorgeous and expensive cars. When we got to the garage I bought 3 sachets of Grand-Pa and we drove back. When we got to the driveway she advised me to stop the car. I asked why and she went "hayi wena, don't act all 'religious' on me. Don't pretend you don't find me hot. I can see your dick wants me". She was unzipping my pants as she said that. I tried to tell her it was risky to do it in front of Maureen's gate but it was like I was talking to a rock. Ntombi was like her mom, when she wanted something she went after it, no matter what. I told her it would be better and enjoyable if we did it at my place the following day and she went "you sound like a village boy now. I don't set appointments to have fun. I make it happen everywhere, anytime. Shut up and have fun". She bent forward and gave me a blow job right inside the car. You know those blow jobs that you keep checking if someone is coming? That was what she gave me. She was the master in action. I found myself moaning like something I've never seen. I put my hand in her pants and started fingering her. The bitch was fucken wet and that made Rhu-Rhu long for the real action. She suddenly got her mouth off my dick and went "oh oh oh oh....shit I cccccame. Nigger I came I came I came oh oh yeahhhh". I relieved my fingers and she went "ahhhhhhh, we should do this again soon. My pussy loves your body and I think your dick feels the same about my body. We should make this a habit. Just so you know, I don't want a relationship. I just want your dick". Jerrrrrr women of nowadays are starting to think and behave like men. Amen.

When we got to the house Eve asked why we took time. Ntombi laughed and told her mom "Rhu is a slow driver". Eve was like "he seems like a very good driver to me. I can see a good driver from distance. Hope you guys didn't do naughty things ha ha ha ha". Trust Eve to find her bullshit funny. I went "I wouldn't blame me even if I did naughty things with her. Your daughter is quite a looker. I can see where she got her beauty looks from". Maureen who was quiet all along went "mzala, I think you should go home. This headache is killing me. We will hook up tomorrow". That was my sugar mama being jealous lol. They took the leftovers and left. Hayi black people and leftovers. Ntombi winked at me. As soon as they left Maureen was like "I don't like that family. I think they want you and that thought drives me crazy. I don't mind you dating a girl your age but it shouldn't be someone I know and I don't ever wanna see her in my.... your car. That Ntombi and her mother are bad news I'm telling. And anyway, she's not your type. She doesn't have the vavavuum I posses". That was Maureen reminding me of the rules of the game. She was also making sure her turf was secure. I didn't breath any word, I just kept nodding. Only if she knew I had already tasted Eve's apple and I enjoyed it. Ntombi was next on the line. I was glad Ntombi told me she didn't want a serious relationship. I asked Maureen if I could go home because I planned to go to the office the following day and she said cool. I didn't expect that but I was happy. It was probably because of the drug hangover. I kissed and and Benz'd to my place. I headed straight to bed. I knew I would have a lot to do at work the following day. In the morning I woke up refreshed and energised. I did the morning stuff and headed to work. Fridays are always cool at work. The minute I got to work my boss gave me some file and told me there was a client I should meet at 11am. He told me to be ready. Some bosses don't care straight, I was away sick and he didn't even ask me how I was feeling. Maybe it was because of my skin colour. If I was white they would have sent me flowers. Or maybe they know darkies love faking sick leave lol. I familiarised myself with the file and within an hour I could feel I was ready for the meeting. At around 10h50am our PA called to tell me the client was waiting in the Ikhaya Boardroom. I didn't like that boardroom because it was on the floor that only few people frequented. There was a rumour that some managers have sex with junior staff members in there. There are so many Vavi's in this world. I took the file and my laptop and headed to the boardroom.

I opened the door and my eyes went wide. The client went "Gosh, small world hey. You can run but you will never hide Rhu Rhu".

THE END

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Dear Shaz

Tell me, is there a school of kissing in South Africa. I met this guy few weeks ago and I think he's a great guy. We are not dating yet but we had sex twice already. My problem is he can't kiss. At first I thought he was just being nervous but no no no he can't kiss, period. When he kisses me it's like he's giving me a CPR aka kiss of life. I'm afraid to tell him because it's embarrassing. As I write this my lips are swollen because of his kisses. I don't know what to do. Please help a girl out.

Yours,

Swollen Lips, Lagos - Nigeria