Chapter 6

You shall not steal - Exodus 20:15

Her line got interrupted and we got cut. I thought of calling back but though nah, Mercy was probably using her friend to get attention from me. I know girls have that kinda tendency when they want attention. I switched off my phone and walked back to the restaurant. Maureen was getting impatient when I got there. She went "were you still masturbating or what?". I laughed and asked if she saw my hand as competition and she cracked. That's one of the things I liked about my Maureen. She had a sense of humour for days. She was unlike those girls who only laughed when tickled. Maureen found my lame punchlines funny. I kept looking for the Xhosa guy who wanted to 'hit me with a brick' on my Maureen. I don't trust Xhosa guys. Maureen ordered sea food and I ordered a light mean. I didn't have a huge appetite. I'm normally like that after flying. She was like "eat papa, after your mediocre performance earlier you must make sure you have enough energy. I'm going to do you the whole night". Shit, that woman had a huge appetite for everything, from food to money; sex to sex. I suspected she was a prostitute before she married her late husband. I have read stories about men marrying their favourite hoes. I was like "eish babe, I have period pains and a slight headache. We can't do it tonight". We both laughed. She said I reminded her of her first years of marriage. Apparently her husband's dick was so huge she'd fake period pain and headache everyday just to run away from it. I really don't know what women want. When a dick is small they complain. When a dick is huge they complain. Maybe they want a dick that can be adjusted by a joystick, a dick that can be decreased and increased as they wish. After eating we drank until the she could barely hold her glass.

She paid the bill, which was over R2000 and we went back to the hotel room. Shit, that money could feed an average family in Diepsloot. To Maureen money was like some toy she could play with whenever she wanted. I even thought of marrying her in community of property and divorce her after a year. I'd be the richest nigger alive. When we got to the hotel she was finished. She couldn't even walk properly. What surprised me was not long ago she swiped her card without even struggling. That's women for you. She can get drunk to a point of forgetting where her punani is situated but she'll never forget or give you her pin number. She will punch it in and get sloshed again. Well, Maureen wasn't really like that normally but that night she surprised me. She wanted to sleep on the floor but I carried her to the bed. I undressed her and only covered her legs with her duvet. I wasn't in a mood to sleep and in that state there was no way I was gonna have sex with her. I thought of going out on my own but my Tsonga ancestors told me it's not a good idea. I looked at her lying there naked and my dick started acting up. My dick was like a lion, once it smells 'blood' there was no turning back. Maybe girls don't know about this, sometimes the dick gets so hard that it develops some pain. Next time your man cries when you say no, just know the poor nigger is in pain. I don't know if she did it deliberately or what, but she rolled a bit and her bum bared it all. Her bum was facing me and I could she the little wallet popping between her legs. I was a view that would drive any man crazy. Her vagina was cute for someone her age. Some vaginas I've seen before look like a clenched fist of a very dark old person. I was like "WTF, Xikwembu will forgive me. As a man He'll understand". I took off my clothes and went to lie next to her. Well, more like behind her. I used my finger to feel her punani. It was so wet and warm you'd swear she had just had sex. I went "Maureen, Maureen....tsoga babe". I honestly didn't expect any response from her. Her brain was half-dead. I slowly put it in from behind and started moving in and out. She was my sugar mama, so it wasn't rape. She'd probably thank me in the morning. At first it was difficult to swim my dick in but with the grace of my ancestors she got wetter. Maybe her brain was drunk but the punani was still sober. I went on for 10 minutes without coming and she didn't move a bit. She was even snoring at some stage. I don't know of any girl who can snore with a Shangaan dick inside her. She made history that night. They say you must be thankful for what you get but aowa...no no. It felt like I was sleeping with a dead body. It was like trying to eat spaghetti with a spool. I ended up giving up without coming. When I took my dick out I felt her vjayjay squeezing it. I paused to check if she was awake but she started snoring again. Mxm her vjayjay was probably dreaming or having a wet dream.

I went to the bathroom with a plan of employing my right hand but the thought was just stupid nje. I was like "WTF, I'm going out. It was around 12am and I knew Cape Town had a hectic nightlife. Most people think it's only Pretoria and Joburg that can make you dance the whole night. You must go to Cape Town in September or Easter. I put on jeans, sneakers and a Kaizer Chiefs white T-shirt. When you are wearing a Kaizer Chiefs T-shirt this year you feel like a winner. #Khosi4Life. I can't say the same about Mamelodi Sundowns aka Load Shedding Stage 4. I called Maureen's name again to make sure she was sleeping. She kept snoring. I took the car key, phone and wallet and left. By the way my phone was still off. I took it just in case of emergency. You don't wanna be stranded in a foreign province without any means of communication. Cape Town cops do not take tjotjo at night, especially if you are not coloured or white. They probably think you are an ANC or EFF member. I decided to go to Long Street. That place is like a Moria of nightclubs. There are so many clubs you'd swear the god of fun had an apartment there. If you thought 7th Street in Melville was the ish you must go to Long Street in Cape Town. If you though Esselen Street in Sunnyside was the ish you should go to Long Street in Cape Town. When I got there you'd swear it was 9pm. There were people everywhere. I picked some pub, I don't remember the name. If I were to rank it I'd say 3 Star, not fancy....not ghetto. I decided to sit by the bar. If you want a good position to pick up single and desperate women, sit by the bar. I ordered a glass of Jameson. I didn't wanna order anything expensive because I was in an unfamiliar turf. Some hot chick looked at me like she knew me from somewhere. I decided to wave for her to come join me. She was a very yellow bone coloured. I offered her a drink and she went "senk you". That's when I realised she only had 2 teeth in her mouth. Well, I heard coloured girls from Cape Town give the best blow job in the world....a teethless BJ. I bought her a drink and told her to get lost because my wife was around. She was "oh janaa.....whats a lothaaaaa....". I guess she wanted to say a 'loser' lol. Remind me to never eat snoek fish. Another yellow bone came to the bar to buy a drink. Before she could pay I went "where I come from it's illegal for a beautiful woman to pay for her drink. Barman, I'll take care of it". She looked at me and smiled. I wanted her to open her mouth so I could see if she....you know. She looked at me again and went "ndiyabulela buti. Dankie kaluk tata". With that she left and disappeared into the crowd. I drank about 3 glasses and she came back again. She was like "here in Cape Town it's rude for a dark, tall and handsome guy to sleep alone. Will it be my place or your place"? She led the way after saying that. Her bum had invitations written all over it. It was like I was watching a movie.

I decided to follow her. Xhosa girls are only dangerous when they are in Gauteng. In Cape Town they are cool and generous. Anyway, it's not like I was gonna move to Cape Town. It was just gonna be a one-hour-stand. The plan was to just hit one round and drive to the hotel. She asked if she should call a maxi taxi and I told her I was driving. She directed me to our destination. I think we turned about 10 times. It was like she was trying to get me lose direction. We got to some block of semi-dodgy flats and she was like "ndi-stayisha apha buti (I stay here bro)". I asked her where I should park the car and she said by the street. My head was against the idea but my dick had the upper hand. I let my dick control me. As we were walking up the stairs she asked me where I come from. I thought she'd ask for my name or something. I answered her question with a question. I was like "are you a prostitute?". She looked at me and laughed for 2 minutes. She went "what do you take me for? Do I look that cheap? I'm not a hooker. I went to a club with my friends and they left me there. I'll confess, I used you to get me home. But being the good girl, I won't let you go without thanking you properly. I can tell you are not from here. Cape Town treats visitors well. We are not called the Mother City for nothing". Whenever she opened her mouth all I could see was my dick in her mouth. That's how forward my brain was. Her place looked like one of those cheap hotels you find in downtown Joburg. You know those hotels with one single bed and nothing else. I asked her how come she doesn't have any furniture and she told me she had just moved in. Her stuff was still in Langa. She was like "you ask too many questions, maybe you need this". She went down on her knees, unbuttoned my jeans and pulled them down. She was like "buti, yhoooooo uyishangani?". I knew exactly what she saw. My ego was boosted by her words. You can have the biggest dick in the world but whenever a girl reminded you how big it was you'd feel like it was the first time someone told you so. #ThankGodIamTsonga. She blew me for full 20 minutes but I didn't come. My mind was on the big prize, jackpot. After that she told me to go down on her. It's always difficult for me to go down on a stranger. She undressed right in front of me. Truth be told, Xhosa girls are beautiful. They are the reason we have coloureds in South Africa. Jan van Riebeek and his folks couldn't resist them. They chowed them and coloureds happened. If Jan van Riebeek's cousins couldn't resist them, who the hell am I? I kissed her round fresh boobs and slowly went down. I googled her 1 2 3 4 5......and after few minutes I started going dizzy. [#LoadShedding]. When I woke up all I could see were the car keys. I was fully dressed. I looked around and the Xhosa girl was nowhere to be seen. I rang to the window and there was light outside. My phone, watch and wallet were gone. I ran to the door and it was unlocked. I ran down the stairs and found some dark security guard at the gate. I asked him if he had seen some girl...I described her in full. He looked at me and went "is jy maal?". I decided to leave him and run to my car.

Shit, the car was .......

THE END

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LETTERS SECTION

Hi Shazie

Thanks in advance for sharing my letter. I am an 22 year old woman from a poor family in Sebokeng. I moved to Pretoria to stay with my boyfriend last year. He does everything for me. He pays my college fees, buys me nice clothes and other things. The problem is he doesn't sleep at our flat on weekends. When I ask him about it he beats me. I threatened to get him arrested but he told me he knows all cops in Pretoria and that they'll release him within an hour. I want to leave him but I can't go back home and share a bedroom with 5 cousins. He'll also stop paying for my college fees if I leave him. What can I do to change him?

Thank you

Tsholo, Pretoria